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Cindy, who only beats up men, wrote:
So I issue a challenge. Something Big must be going on with Neville. Surely he isn't going to spend seven books as a timid, forgetful boy chasing after a useless toad. What is Neville's backstory, then? Any takers?
Hmmmph. Well. The last time we tried to discuss Neville, I seem to remember that you gave me my ring back. And all of the love letters. And you mocked my SYCOPHANTS badge.
But maybe now that you're captaining that big scary destroyer, I can convince you to change your mind?
Cindy:
But look what happens if we push back the attack on the Longbottoms into 1983. Suddenly, Neville is over 3 years old. And do you know what happens next? People come streaming out of the woodwork to tell me all of the horrors visited upon them when they were 3, how they vividly recall being spanked in the supermarket at this age, how desperately they wish they had received a Memory Charm...
But that's the entire point, Cindy. We want him traumatized. We want poor little toddler Neville, huddling in the closet while the Evil Death Eaters horribly torture Mum and Dad. And do you know why we want it that way?
Because it's a Very Big Bang. That's why.
I mean, please. What is all this wishy-washy "oh, let's keep him only an infant, because that way he could never have really been traumatized much anyway" nonsense? What is all this "Oh, we can't give the poor kid a suppressed traumatic memory—that's just so ugly, it's all so crooo-el—so let's just make it a Reverse Memory Charm instead" tripe?
Really! What sort of talk is that for the Captain of the Big Bang Destroyer?
Sheesh. Some people just have no idea where their best interests really lie, do they?
Look, Neville at the Court Hearing is a Dud, okay? You know it, I know it. Everyone knows it. It lacks drama. It lacks pizzazz. It lacks oomph. It lacks any sturm-und-drang at all, frankly. An infant gurgles his way merrily through a scene of unspeakable atrocity, but is later enchanted to be able to point one pudgy finger at the Lestranges and blurt "Gah?"
Booo-ring.
No. No, what you want here is toddler Neville. You want sentient Neville. You want capable-of-understanding-cause-and-effect Neville. You want huddling-in-the-closet-whimpering-pitifully-with-his-eyes-squeezed-tightly-shut-while-rocking-back-and-forth-autistically Neville. Come on. You know that you do. You know that deep down in your heart, you want it that way. It's Bigger. It's Bangier. It's far more cinematic. And besides all of that, it also gives you the opportunity to remove that Memory Charm later on and get the even Bigger and even Bangier Flashback Neville.
Or, if you really wanted Big and Bangy, you could even grit your teeth and adopt Tex's suggestion of Tortured Neville. I've not got quite the Edge for that one, myself, but you're the one with the passion for the catalytic backstories. And really, you can't get much more catalytic than Tortured As a Toddler To Get Stalwart Hero Father To Crack, now, can you?
Heh. If I didn't know better, I would be starting to suspect that deep down inside, Cindy just might be a tad...well. Dare I even suggest it? Squeamish, perhaps?
And besides, who ever heard of a "Reverse Memory Charm," anyway? There's no such thing in canon. What we do have are Memory Charms. They mess up your mind; they make you absent-minded and forgetful; they make poor Mr. Roberts talk just like Neville does after Fake Moody's DADA class; they've been amply foreshadowed through the last three volumes of the series — and you want to make it a Reverse Memory Charm just 'cause you're a little bit squeamish? Just 'cause you're not man enough to Tough It Out when it comes to traumatized Neville?
::shakes head sadly::
Oh, Cindy. Cindy. Can't you see reason here?
Cindy wrote:
Big Bang is actually quite a busy-body, because Big Bang also plans to weigh in on CUPID'SBLUDGER (that is, that Florence's kissing behind the greenhouse is important for some reason and is related to why Sirius hates Snape). As soon as Big Bang can think of a Bang that is sufficiently Big, we will report back to the group.
Jake said:
And I propose that we put Cupid's Quaffle to the Big Bang test.
Hear, hear! Enthusiastically seconded!
I'm tempted to believe that having her surreptitious snogging with Sirius brought to light, combined with the 'realisation' that she's been being used, nay pitied by Sirius in the first place is enough to turn her from simply a nasty-tempered but bookish girl into the Vamp that becomes Dead Sexy Mrs. Lestrange.
Well, it's certainly catalytic, all right. And I personally think that it's quite Big Bang-worthy.
It would be even Bigger and Bangier, of course, if only we could up the adult content a bit and make it so that Florence is actually carrying Sirius Black's love child at the time...but of course, we can't do that. JKR has stated that she isn't going to deal with those sorts of issues so ::very earnest look here indeed:: that would make the theory non-canonical.
And heaven knows we can't have that.
—Elkins
Posted to HPfGU by Elkins on February 24, 2002 9:49 PM
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